He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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