OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
