where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
