He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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