Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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