I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
