oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
