at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize