o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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