i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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