coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
How's work?
Spinning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
