i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
