the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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