I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
