In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
