D3 body, D1 cock
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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