jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
