I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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