good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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