As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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