dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
