My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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