So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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