honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
