He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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