this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
