I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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