Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.