Sponge bath it is.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT