Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together