I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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