i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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