Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
