I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
