she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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