Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
