i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
