I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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