Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
