I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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