She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
