yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i came on her dog
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
