i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
