Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
