do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
