oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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