He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
