Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
