I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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