i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
