This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
