Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
