OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm really busy with my period
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