Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize