he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
only you would photoshop your dick
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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