dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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