I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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