Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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