Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
