Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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