he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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