she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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