sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
