either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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