I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
