If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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