P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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