Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
