I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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