I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
